Reply to Bhagwaan Bharose Internet

Well, Rashmi's problem (see below) got me thinking. I usually pay no attention to service provider's mismanagement. I consider it to be their solemn right to be completely immune to the problems of their customers. You see, the problem is exactly that you are already a customer! So it means that you have already paid the money. Which in turn means that you are now the biggest idiot in the world for them! I mean, once you have already paid the money, why should they bother! The marketing people promised something, the validity of which ended the moment you signed up the check! The customer service people couldn't care less! Their pay check doesn't depend on you! And then, who else remains? You could always try to send a letter to the CEOs and MDs, if you can find out how to!

So, believing that it is a problem that can't be solved, I just keep paying my bills and keep hoping to the high skies that the damn thing (Internet/cable TV (Don't even get me started on the cable TV people in Pune. They have brought daylight robbery to a fine art!)/mobile phone) works properly for another month! You know, that's what even Lord Krishna suggested. He knew what kind of buffoons(read customers) would inherit this country, way back in 5521 BC! So he suggested what he thought would be the best solution. "Karmanye vaadhikaaraste, maa faleshu kadachana". It is your duty to keep paying money, so keep doing it! And it is the duty of the people who you pay money to, to let you suffer! Only after passing through the fires of suffering, will the gold in your mind be purified! Of course, most of the gold comes out of my nose! But then, it is quite pure!

However, this is a solution that might not appeal to everybody! Not everyone has the will power to suffer all that the great Lord has set out for one! Most people want to do everything the easy way. They don't realize that all this suffering is a direct ticket to heaven!

So, there is a different solution! A costlier one, but a solution that lessens your suffering by half! The solution is simple. Get yourself duped twice. i.e. Get two mobile connections, two Internet connections and two of anything that's troubling you! You would find out in due time, that exactly one of each works for exactly one month and it takes exactly one month for getting the other one to start working. Let's see it in a little detail. You take two net connections, from X and Y. Keep exactly a month's distance between the two check paying dates. Let's say you paid X or the first of January, then pay Y on the first of February. And then forget that you paid anything. Automatically, your connection from X will go active on the first of February and that from Y will go active from first of March! On the first of March, you will have both active connections. You will worry whether you are an idiot, paying two people for the service that you are using only once! Firstly, you are an idiot. There, that's out of the way! Then next, no matter how idiotic you feel, never call to disconnect any of the connections! Because, on the second of March, automatically, your connection form X will die. Don't worry. Call the customer service of X and forget about it. Exactly, 30 days on, X will go active again and Y will go inactive! And so on and so forth! So, you see, you have no mental torture or suffering anymore! Of course, because you are not suffering out the entire amount of suffering that God has kept out for you, you will suffer in hell! But that's not your current problem, is it?

I can already see incompetent bombastic nincompoops jumping up and down with glee and pointing out what they see as the most obvious flaw with my idea. What if both go down at the same time? Well, if you really are as unlucky as that, then just jump down a well! Your place in heaven is guaranteed! You have suffered too much and are now just a destinationless ticketless traveller in the journey of life. So, jump off it! And if you still want to live and suffer, do go on! The more you suffer here, the better your chances are of actually bagging an Apsara as a partner during your stay in heaven! So, all in all, start paying money to as many service providers as soon as possible! The more you pay, the more in heaven is your stay! That's what I call a win-win situation!