Bhagwaan Bharose Internet

Will someone tell me just exactly what penance I must do, to have a working internet connection at home? There HAS to be some Yagna that I could do, some God that I could invoke... Because bhagwaan bharose is how Sify's internet connections here in Pune seem to work. Agar bhagwaan bhi bharosa nahin de paya...!

So this is how my love-hate (mostly hate) story with Sify goes. I call up a sify sales rep for an internet connection. He comes running the day I call him, explains the plans to me and takes away a cheque for a 1000 rupees as installation charges. "Ma'm, our engineers will be here to install the wires tomorrow".

15 days later, no one has surfaced. I have, in the mean time, made hundreds of calls to scores of people, and have been assured a thousand times that the engineers are on their way to my house "just now". I have also wasted the best hours of my weekend waiting at home, for these people to grace my lowly abode with their presence, and my computer with their connection. The situation is somewhat akin to walking upto my (un)friendly corner sabziwala, paying for 2 kgs of potatoes and him telling me to bugger off! Only, there I've donated a measley 20 Rs. to the USRF*. So despite my lack of charitability, I can handle it. But when I'm told very politely that they really can't do much, I'm just going to have to wait it out till they find it within themselves to install my internet, I have a slight problem. No, not a slight problem. I have a considerable problem. A BIG problem. One that doesn't let me take Sify's outrageous paisa-dabaoing in my stride.

But somewhere, in some corner of heaven, some angel looks at me, and finally I have an internet connection installed on my PC. Its hard earned, and very sweet! I'm filled with joy , life becomes a cheerful song, and all that.

But my happiness is shortlived. Some dour-faced imp scowls in my general direction, and the connection conks off. And then begins the never ending saga of lost connections, of being unable to connect to the Sify Gateway, and of numerous fruitless phonecalls to their call center. A saga that continues till today. The latest outrage is currently under progress, and I have not been able to connect to the internet for the past 10 days. Is it any wonder that I'm not exactly a fan of Sify?

Oh, and here's an interesting riddle that I haven't yet been able to solve. When one calls sify, one is greeted with a "Welcome to Sify! Please press * to continue". Can someone help me understand why this completely superflous step has been added right at the begining? Why would I call in the first place, if I didn't want to 'continue'?? Surely, they don't believe I'm very fond of the sexy robotic voice that welcomes me and that I keep calling to hear it, do they?

Soumi has very helpfully given solutions to what he percieves as problems, in his earlier rants (look below). And creative solutions, thought out of the box, at that. Alas, I'm no where in his league when it comes to problem solving, and no solution seems to present itself to me. I think a yagna it must be... I'm ready to fast for solah-somwaars, if need be. Maybe I should find a punditji. Hmmmmm... that's a good idea. Maybe he'll look at my palm and tell me its not in my destiny to have a hassle-free internet connection, and I'll finally stop going bonkers and accept my fate with serenity and some dignity. Hmmm... worth a try... I'm Off!

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* Unfriendly Sabziwala Relief Fund, for the uninitiated. There are many such charities in existence in Pune today - the RARF (Rude Autowala RF), the IERF (Irritating Eunuchs RF), the UCYCRRF (Unnecessary Cleaners of Your Car on the Road RF), the MPRF (Manipulative Puncturewala RF)... Just look around and you'll discover them.. but we're losing focus here. Please go back to my rant.